Members of a popular Internet forum were quick to defend a mother’s decision to put a lock on her 10-year-old son’s bedroom door.
in viral form reddit Post posted on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/NewtGroundbreaking70 (otherwise referred to as the original poster or OP) described her only son as a “quiet kid who loves his own space” and explained how her nephews and nephews have been the trigger for more privacy measures.
entitled “[Am I the a**hole] To put a lock on my son’s bedroom door? ” Mail It has garnered nearly 7,000 votes and 1,200 comments in the past nine hours.
The original poster wrote that her older sister and her three children live right across the street, and said that her extended family is in a lot of places and can be annoying to her son.
“They always flock to his room to play when they come over [around],” wrote OP.
After discussing with her husband, the original poster said the parents had come to a mutual decision to install a padlock on their son bedroom doorand told the boy he could use the padlock to keep his cousins out of his space.
However, the first time her nephews and nephews discovered their cousin’s bedroom door locked, the original poster said that Cause trouble right away with her sister.
“The kids rushed into his room only to find the door was locked, at first they thought it was stuck and came to tell me… I told them no it was locked and it was up to my son if he wanted to let them in,” the OP wrote. “My sister got upset about this and told me that a 10-year-old didn’t need that kind of privacy and I was just training him to be rude and inconsiderate.”
“I didn’t want to make it clear in front of her kids that they were the reason he needed the lock in the first place,” the OP continued. “I asked my sister to quit work And if her kids need to play a lot, there’s no need to hang out after lunch.”
“My sister eventually left in a hustle…but she was telling our parents how rude I was and how I teach my son to be reckless too and how not to teach him to ‘engage,'” the OP added. “Our parents are standing by my sister… My husband is standing by me and has suggested that my sister and her children not come to me [around] for a short while.”
Although bedrooms are almost always accompanied by a bedroom door, some parents see the physical separation between themselves and their children as an instrument of power and control.
While a closed door can help eliminate any outside noise from a sleeping child’s bedroom, older children often use a bedroom door for a different purpose: to keep themselves inside and their parents outside.
In 2015, Care.com Asking parents if the bedroom door is a right or a privilege. Responses were mixed, with some parents defending a child’s right to privacy while others argued that children had no need for privacy.
Other outlets, such as Psychology Today and the Professor’s House, they also tackled the question of bedroom doors and across the board, one solution appears more frequently than all others: compromise.
“As long as there are channels of communication between the child and the parent, the room should be left to the child’s care,” Psychology Today The site reads. “Active dialogue and a certain degree of mutual accommodation is the answer.”
In the case of the viral Reddit post, the original poster said there was, and still is, a high level of communication between her, her husband and her son. Regardless of how much pressure her sister and other family members put in, the original poster emphasized that keeping her son comfortable and safe was their top priority — something many Redditors can appreciate.
“[Not the a**hole]Redditor u/km89 wrote in the top comment of the post, which has over 11,000 votes.
They added, “As someone who grew up with very little privacy… thank you.” “You are doing well by your son.”
Redditor u/Adventurous_Aide-456, whose comment has more than 1,300 votes, speculated that the original poster’s sister insisting that her nephew satisfy her three children might be harmful in the future.
“This is not sharing, this is bullying,” they wrote. “Your sister is encouraging her children to bully your son, which will only increase his social anxiety…what your sister does will only harm your son and teach her children terrible behaviors.”
“Unlike your sister, you teach your son the only thing he’s entitled to is his personal independence,” Redditor u/BrownSugarBare added. “Your sister teaches her children to get upset when they don’t get what they want and to demand things from people who don’t owe them anything.”
NEWSWEEK u/NewtGroundbreaking70 has been reached for comment.