Colbert Reveals What Really Happened to the Triumph of Insulting Doggy and Late Show Staff at Capitol

He had to say something.

Quick question, how was the weekend? Stephen Colbert said at the top of his late show Monologue on Monday. “I definitely had an interesting one, because some of my employees had an unforgettable team.”

From there, Colbert proceeded to analyze all the previously unknown details of the Seven late show staff who were Arrested on Capitol Hill last week While filming a comedy segment about the committee’s January 6 hearings.

“This is what happened,” he explained. “Last week, I heard from my old colleague Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Triumph offered to go to DC and meet with some members of Congress to highlight the January 6 sessions. I said, ‘Sure, if you can get consent to speak to you, because– and please don’t You take this as an insult – you are a puppet.”

Colbert emphasized that both Democrats and Republicans had agreed to talk to Triumph long ago Creating Comedy by Robert Smeijl– He and late show The crew spent two days filming offices across the street from the Capitol. “They went through security clearance,” he said, shooting all day Wednesday and all day Thursday, calling into the offices of the members of Congress they were meeting with.

It was at the end of their second day on Thursday when “the Capitol Police approached Intisar and people with me and detained them.” “Which actually isn’t surprising. The Capitol Police are more vigilant than they were 18 months ago, and for very good reason. If you don’t know what that reason is, I know the news network you’re watching.”

According to the host, everyone was “doing their job”, they were “very professional” and “very calm”. The late show “The crew was detained, processed and released – a very unpleasant experience for my staff, a lot of paperwork for the Capitol Police, but a very simple story.”

“Until the next night, when two TV presenters began claiming that their puppet squad had ‘committed a mutiny’ in the American building,” he said, referring to Ridiculous comments made by Tucker Carlson and others.

“First of all, what?” Colbert said. “Second, huh? Third, they weren’t in the Capitol. Fourth, I was shocked that I should explain the difference, but the rebellion involved the disruption of congressional legal procedures and howling for the blood of elected leaders, all to prevent the peaceful transfer of power. This was a play of First class. This was a rant with idiot intent. Old embezzlement Konan a little.”

Colbert said he “expected” people like Carlson to make such outrageous allegations. “They want to talk about something other than the January 6 sessions about the actual incendiary insurrection that killed several people and injured more than 140 police officers,” he said. “But to draw any equivalence between a rioter storming the Capitol to prevent electoral votes being counted and a toy dog ​​nibbling a cigar is a shameful and hideous insult to the memory of all who died, and an outrageous understatement of the service and courage of the Capitol Police appeared on that terrible day.”

“But who knows, maybe there was a massive plot to overthrow the US government with a rubber Rottweiler,” he joked. “We all know the long history of lawlessness dolls. Big Muppets The Fragile Riots of the Eighties”.

“In this case, our puppet was just a puppet doing puppet things,” he assured viewers. “And sad to say, so much has changed in Washington that the Capitol Police must remain on high alert all the time, due to the January 6 attack. And as the hearings prove more and more clearly every day, the blame for that actual rebellion lies with a puppet. Putin.”

There was no word yet on when the piece that Triumph and her crew were filming last week will go live. late showbut when it does, it’s sure to be one for the ages.

For more, listen to Robert Smigel The last laugh podcast.