ADHD adult books that ended the shame spiral

Thirty years ago, I was cheerfully living my life when I noticed a fact that eventually changed the course of my life: Some of my behaviors were similar to those of my son, who was diagnosed with ADHD.

“Am I just like Brian?”

I stored the idea in the back of my mind and pondered it now and then. Then, during the evaluation, my supervisor mentioned some issues with my work habits, and a bell rang in my head.

“Ding! Dong! This sounds like ADHD! “

I think I have ADHD‘ I told my supervisor.

“I think so too,” she said. She had a grandson with ADHD and was aware of the symptoms.

I told my pediatrician during my son’s check-in appointment, “I think I have ADHD.”

He replied, “You do!”

It was alarming that the doctor had only noticed me on short routine appointments, yet he came to this conclusion. what or what ADHD signs Did he see me? What did others notice?

The diagnosis of ADHD in adults is not welcome

To be honest, a recipient Diagnosis of ADHD in adults It was devastating. Many people are grateful for a diagnosis after asking, sometimes for years, “What’s my problem?” A diagnosis of ADHD finally provides some answers.

I was stunned by my diagnosis – although it wasn’t entirely unexpected, it was unequivocally undesirable. Yes, I have always felt a little different from my friends and classmates. But I wasn’t so off base that I stood or heard people comment that I was lazy or disorganized. I have got. I never asked what made me different or thought I was exceptionally extraordinary. My husband over 20 years ago had trouble accepting a diagnosis of ADHD. He thought it was just me.

[The ADHD Symptom Test for Women]

In fact, my I was embarrassed to be diagnosed with ADHD in adults. I felt exposed and thought everyone could tell me that something was wrong with me, that I had damaged merchandise. I thought of Hester Breen in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s book, scarlet letter, whose atonement for adultery was to put an “A” on her clothes. I imagined enduring my shyness with the letters “ADHD” for all to see.

Acceptance of the diagnosis of ADHD in adults

After hearing Dr. Edward Hallowell say he was never ashamed of his ADHD, I began to recover. I wanted to quit my own vortex of shame And don’t be shy about having ADHD.

In 1992, when I was diagnosed, there was little awareness that adults had ADHD and they were often mistaken as moral failures. ADHD resources were very limited. Therefore, I searched non-ADHD sources for any useful information I could find. Three books were critical to my recovery and acceptance of my ADHD diagnosis. I highlight them below because I believe they still hold value for adults with ADHD today.

Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life(#CommissionsEarned)
by Martin EP Seligman
This book taught me that what we say to ourselves greatly affects our self-image. I also learned that focusing on what went wrong is not helpful and is harmful to our self-esteem. It is necessary to avoid self-criticism and Negative self-talk When we fail to perform a task to the required standard. We have to stop ruminating about the mistakes we’ve made. Instead, we must think about what we can control and what we will do differently next time to achieve success.

[Get This List: The All-Time Best Books on ADHD]

When we succeed, it’s important to get proper personal credit and celebrate our accomplishments. For example, if the project went well, think about why: “I had good ideas,” “I got the right people involved,” and “I inspired my co-workers to do their best.”

The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People: Powerful Lessons for Personal Change(#CommissionsEarned)
by Stephen R Covey
I have incorporated all the valuable information from this book into my life. Most importantly, it inspired me to write my personal mission statement. After learning that people with ADHD do better when pursuing passion, I understood the value of defining a mission statement. I have crystallized my passion for educating people about ADHD and guiding them on their path to a rewarding life.

StrengthsFinder 2.0.0 Update(#CommissionsEarned)
by Tom Rath
This book details how our strengths benefit the groups to which we belong. (Be sure to purchase a new copy of this book to receive an online test code to identify your five biggest strengths.)

My greatest strength is thinking, which means that I am fascinated by ideas and find connections between seemingly disparate phenomena. Confidence in the value of my ideas was another strength. Previously, I felt compelled to share my thoughts, although I was worried that they were not well received. Therefore, I presented my thoughts with an aggressive feature in my voice. Once I learned that thinking was an asset, I became more willing to share my thoughts in group settings with confidence and calm.

You made a difference. Instead of saying no, my colleagues gave me compliments like, “You have a lot of good ideas,” “That’s a good suggestion,” and “Thank you for bringing it up.” I enjoyed their praise.

Through practice, I’ve learned to focus on positive self-talk, pursue my interests, and stick to my strengths. It was these hacks that turned my shyness into ADHD enabled.

note: Please note that all names, models, pricing, links, and specifications were accurate and the items were available at the time of this article’s last update on June 6, 2022.

Adult ADHD Diagnostic Books and Resources: Next Steps


Add support
Thanks for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, Please consider subscribing. Your readers and support help make our content and communication possible. Thank you.

#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon partner, ADDitude earns a commission from eligible purchases that ADDitude readers make on the affiliate links we share. However, all of the products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items are in stock as of the time of publication.